Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Daddy's Little Girl No More
When I was little, I was always "daddy's little girl". I would go fishing with him all the time and dreamed of the day I would be old enough to go fishing with him. Unsurprisingly, I grew up. As I grew up, I grew more into make-up and being with friends and farther away from his outdoorsy tom-boy. We are at each others' throats every day. Yesterday he stood in the doorway of the living room, screaming at me for numerous reasons. He is mad that I never got my car fixed, that I never have money, that I have to use his car that already has 100,000 miles on it. His point about his car was that it isn't paid off and is getting up there in miles. My retort: "Well, you would have a car that is paid off if you would stop trading them off on something new when they have 2 years left on the loan". In turn, he raised his hand. Hah! He doesn't get that threatening to hit me does nothing to me anymore. I'm so used to his empty threats to hit me. He knows that actually hitting me doesn't effect me much either. That stopped working a long time ago. I stopped trying to please him when I realized I would never be good enough for him. Ashley is the perfect daughter. She wants to be a cop and does absolutely everything he asks her to do. I on the other hand, want to go my own way. He will never get me back as his little girl, and that kills him.
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I can so relate to you on your blog. I was daddy's little girl growing up to. Then once i got old enough to play sports and to have boyfriends he never was there for me. He never came to any of my games and he wouldn't speek a word to any of the boys I brought home to meet him. The reason for all this was because we had our own family buisness and he worked 6 days a week and never had time for me or my sister. Once I got older I started be scared of him because he would get mad at every little thing I did. I never wanted to talk or to even look at him. Now since I'm grown up he tries to become closer to me but I wont let him for everything that has happend in the past. But now I know its not only me that hasn't been close with their dad.
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